Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Home on the Horizon

You're living a good life when the best part of a great trip is the coming home.
"When I come home
Cold and tired
It's good to warm my bones
Beside the fire"
(Roger Waters)

I've been reading through past posts here and approving comments from months ago, and realizing how much I miss writing here, how I never feel quite at "home" if I'm not writing this kind of stuff regularly. There's only so much creative satisfaction one can derive from writing web content for various corporate interests. That's about a .05% creative satisfaction level, I've discovered. Some days it's actually a negative number.

I've been glum for a while now, when I haven't been wracked with grief over the loss of my grandpa in April, or troubled over a spectacularly awful and seemingly irreparable falling out with a cherished friend. My state of mind has been more focused on just trying to find a soft place to land, and emotionally I haven't been up to the inherently vulnerable task of writing.

And in some ways, I'm still not there, but this is what I do, and not doing it has begun to feel worse than doing it and risking the pain of rejection or criticism. I still feel an overwhelming sense of "they're all gonna laugh at you," but I'm choosing to finally take that deep breath and dive back in. I mean, let's be honest, anyway. Of the 12 people who will potentially read this one day, surely only 2 of them will actually point and laugh. Right? Right.

I have lots of stuff I want to get to here soon, but for today, I will leave you with this old picture I came across the other day. It makes me all kinds of bittersweet and gooey. Kind of like Ben & Jerry's Karamel Sutra but without the brain freeze.

The little one is turning 5 in a few days. This one's going to sting.


Amy said...

Sweet photo. I'm not laughing at you and always enjoy laughing with you. Welcome back to blogville. We should chat sometime about mourning the loss of a friendship. Let's just say I had my first panic attack.

Sarah Hunt said...

Oy, I'm sorry to hear that, Amy, and yes, it would be great to chat about anything, really. :) Are you planning to attend Erma Bombeck in the spring? I can't believe it but they will be selling tickets before you know it! I mean, not that we have to wait until next April to chat. I just naturally thought of Erma when I saw your face. That's a compliment!

Mary Mucci said...

Sarah, thanks for sharing. Makes me miss you guys less. You connect and that's what makes it worth reading. Thank you and keep writing.

Joellen Whetstone said...

Sometimes pictures like these stick in my mind like brain freeze. It hurts the same way because they're gone. But they feel good the same way like the yumminess of the sugary ice cream.

Post a Comment